Failure is Necessary

We've all had times in our lives when things didn't quite go as planned.  Unfortunately, we  live in a society today that often doesn't always recognize that.  You don't have to look much further than politicians and CEOs to see a culture where everyone pretends that they have never made a mistake.  While we can all see through the lies, I believe that this has added to the fear of failure that so many of us experience.  With only a small amount of transparency, we each quickly learn that failure is simply a rung on the ladder of success.

I for one, have failed way more times than I can count.  Poor business decisions, botched conversations, personal laziness and financial disasters just to name a few.  That said, I wouldn't change a thing.  Each of these situations were valuable learning experiences that have helped me to become a better leader and a better coach.  Like many of you, I still screw up all the time!  Fortunately, over the years I've learned to look at failure through a different lens.  Painful as it often is, failure is actually necessary to personal and professional growth.  It's completely natural that as you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, some things aren't going to go well.  Unfortunately, the wrong mindset about these situations leads to many of us developing a fear of failure.

The idea that failure is simply an event, not a person is something that I've tried to pass onto my children.  Many years ago I tested out something new around the dinner table.  Like most parents, I was in a habit of asking my kids about their day.  Instead, I started asking my kids what they failed at that day.  I explained that if they didn't fail at anything, then they likely weren't pushing themselves to improve.  Over time, they got used to the question and came prepared with a personal screw up each day.  We did this for some time, so I'm hopeful that the message got through and that my kids aren't afraid of failing.

Next time you have an event that doesn't go quite as planned, remember that it's just part of the growth process.  It's actually necessary in order for you to improve.  It's probably still going to be a bit painful in the moment, but what can you tell yourself to reframe the idea of failure, and learn from the situation?