The 3 Phases of Habit Building

What is the best way to go about building new habits in your life?

We all know that creating a new habit or breaking an old one is no easy task. It’s often a long and challenging journey that demands effort, persistence, and self-awareness. According to the principles of habit formation, there are three crucial phases that one must go through to successfully build lasting change: Break, Build, and Become. In order to create lasting transformation, there's no shortcuts through these phases.

Phase 1: Break – Breaking Old Habits

The first phase of habit-building is arguably the toughest one....breaking your old habits. This is the phase where your comfort zone is challenged and your current behaviors are put under the microscope. Habits, no matter how bad they may be for you, provide a sense of familiarity and comfort. You’ve likely developed these habits over time, and they’ve become ingrained in your daily routines. When you attempt to replace them with something new, it can feel like a battle between your old self and the new version you are trying to create.

The key to this phase is persistence. The longer a habit has been established, the more difficult it can be to replace it. Breaking old habits doesn’t happen overnight. In fact, the time it takes to replace a habit varies depending on how deeply ingrained the old behavior is in your routine. Whether it's quitting smoking, reducing screen time, or cutting out junk food, you'll face resistance as your mind and body cling to the familiar. Acknowledge that the discomfort you feel is part of the process of growth.

Tips for the Break Phase:

• Start small: Instead of trying to break everything at once, focus on changing one small aspect of the habit.
• Make the old habit less appealing: Remove triggers or cues that lead to the old habit.
• Practice patience: Habits don’t disappear in a day, so give yourself time and space to struggle and grow.

Phase 2: Build – Installing the New Habit

Once you've broken free of your old habits, it's time to build the new ones. This phase is where the real work starts. You’ve removed the old routines, but now you need to replace them with positive behaviors that support your goals. While you may have survived the discomfort of breaking the old habit, this phase is challenging in its own way.

In this stage, you begin to consistently practice the new behavior until it becomes part of your routine. But just when you think you’ve nailed it, life tends to throw in a curveball. You might experience a stressful week at work, an unexpected change in schedule, or even a personal setback that causes you to fall off track. It’s easy to feel defeated during these moments, but it’s important to remember that setbacks are a natural part of the process. The key is not to stay down but to get back on track as quickly as possible.

The Build phase is where the new habit is tested, refined, and strengthened through repetition. It may take weeks or even months for the new habit to feel second nature, and in the meantime, it’s important to stay committed and avoid self-judgment.

Tips for the Build Phase:

• Track your progress: Use a journal or habit tracker to remind yourself how far you’ve come.
• Create a routine: Consistency is key. Set specific times for your new habit to ensure it becomes a part of your day.
• Be kind to yourself: Don’t be discouraged by setbacks. Focus on the bigger picture and remind yourself that progress is a journey.

Phase 3: Become – Integrating the Habit Into Your Identity

The final phase of habit-building is the Become phase, where the new habit fully integrates into your identity. This is the point where the behavior you’ve been working on becomes an automatic part of who you are. It’s no longer something you have to consciously work at; it’s just the way you live. This is when the habit feels effortless and aligns with your values.

Take, for example, the habit of eating healthy. In the Become phase, you don’t eat healthy because you’re trying to lose weight or follow a diet plan. You do it because it aligns with your identity—you’re someone who takes care of their body. Similarly, when it comes to working out, it’s not about forcing yourself to exercise. Instead, it’s because you identify as a fit person who values strength and health.

Making the habit part of your identity is crucial for long-term success. When your habits become part of who you are, they are no longer tasks to accomplish—they become a reflection of your self-image. This shift in perspective is what makes the habit stick for the long haul.

Tips for the Become Phase:

• Affirm your new identity: Start to see yourself as the person who embodies the new behavior. Use affirmations and positive self-talk to reinforce this.
• Surround yourself with like-minded people: Being around others who share your values helps you reinforce your new identity.
• Celebrate your growth: Recognize how far you’ve come and how your new habits have shaped your life.

The journey from breaking old habits to building new ones and eventually becoming the person who embodies those habits is not a straight path. It’s a cycle of growth, struggle, and transformation. Whether you’re working on developing a new fitness routine, adopting healthier eating habits, or committing to a new mindset, these three phases — Break, Build, and Become — are integral to making your habits last.

Remember, change takes time and requires effort. But with patience, consistency, and self-compassion, you can break free of old habits, build new ones, and eventually become the person who lives those habits every day. Keep going, and embrace the journey!